I woke up, the sun was shining, birds were singing, the homeless alcoholic that lives on my block was babbling, I knew it was going to be a great day. It was Funday.
I spend the entire day getting ready. I try on everything I own, only to shriek “I HATE EVERYTHING I OWN” after each outfit change, I apply and reapply make-up, and eventually pull out all my hair. Just kidding, right? That would be too real. No, I rolled up in a vintage Sea World tee (IN HONOR OF SHARK WEEK), and jorts. Clearly that took me 6 minutes. If that.
I said hellos to Gabi and Jonny (who asked about this henna teardrop tattoo I got the day before to show solidarity with Lil Wayne), and made my way inside.
The dude spinning records before Sinatra was on point, too, but I didn’t see who it was. I did see who it was NOT, though. Young Jesse Marco. Where the hell has he been? Presumably globetrotting, per usual. Sinatra walked in a few minutes after me and got on the decks, airhorns ablaze. You guys ever think that if we were in medieval times and Sinatra was a king (I would be a jester), they would announce his arrival, not by trumpet fanfare, but with airhorns? BEW BEW BEWWWWW
Recently, I watched the teen movie “She’s All That”, in 10 parts on youtube that someone generously uploaded for broke-ass bitches with no Netflix like myself. I promise there’s a point to this. Anyway, remember when they’re all at prom and Usher (LOL) is DJing prom and they all do this choreographed stupid looking dance to that one song? I’ve taken the liberty of embedding a clip below. It was either Sinatra or the guy who was spinning before, but someone dropped that tune and since I just saw the movie and I’m a fucking loser, I tried to imitate the dance. I was knocking drinks all over the place, but I didn’t care because it was 1999 and I voted for Laney Boggs to be prom queen.
The next day, I woke up, the sun was shining, birds were singing, the homeless alcoholic that lives on my block was babbling, I knew it was going to be a long week. 6 days until Funday.